Psalm 13 - Lament for God's Hidden Face

1 How long wilt thou forget me, O Lord? for ever? 

       how long wilt thou hide thy face from me? 

2 How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily?

       how long shall mine enemy be exalted over me? 

 3 Consider and hear me, O Lord my God: 

       lighten mine eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death; 

4 Lest mine enemy say, I have prevailed against him; 

       and those that trouble me rejoice when I am moved. 

5 But I have trusted in thy mercy; 

       my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation. 

6 I will sing unto the Lord, because he hath dealt bountifully with me.

          Psalm 13

When I was young, one of the bible verses that puzzled me most was Paul's command in I Thessalonians 5:17, "pray without ceasing". How was that even possible to do in a literal sense? And I had been taught that anything other than literal obedience is unacceptable.

In the church where I grew up, every verse in the bible was dissected and analyzed to discover the literal meaning. Anything other than literal interpretation and total obedience was denounced as unacceptable.

But this was one of many - so many - verses that my teachers and mentors consistently glossed over. It took me awhile to realize the truth, that commands like these made them uncomfortable because they didn't know how to literally obey them.

It was only years later, when I began to dwell in the Psalms, that I reached an understanding about unceasing prayer.

The Psalmists refer repeatedly to seeking the face of God. 

During the late 1980's I began collecting and reading the entire collection of Louis L'Amour western novels. I could immerse myself in his stories and escape, for a time, from whatever else was weighing on my soul. It took me quite a while to find and read all 89 of his novels.

During this time, my son Cody, was born. He demanded my attention even more than Louis L'Amour. 

Sometimes I'd be sitting and reading a book and Cody would toddle into the room and make a bee-line for me. He'd crawl up into my lap and reach out to pull the paperback book from my hands. Looking at the cover, he'd say, "No cowboy!" and toss the book to the floor.

He was seeking my attention, and the best way he knew to do that was to remove the book that stood between us and seek my face.

When times are tough, when I feel alone, I seek the face of God. 

During the long months of the coronavirus pandemic, I've often sought the face of God. And I've often struggled to gain his attention. 

I know he's there. I know he is aware and watching over me, even when I feel most abandoned. I know this to be true.

But I often don't feel his attention on me. 

All I can do is trust in his mercy, and sing out my thanks to him for the bounty of blessings he has given to me. 

That last part has been an important habit for me during this dark time. Listening and singing along with my favorite Spotify playlist, Pandemic Praise, compiled by Drew Hill, has been a lifeline for me. It reconnects me and redirects to the face of God.