Paul, Paula & the Second Choice

I Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV (YouVersion)

When I was first told the news about Paul Williams, I doubted it could be true. This obviously must be a spurious rumor, gossip of the worst kind.

Then my friend told me Williams has a blog, so I used my smart phone to quickly find it online. The current photo of Paula Williams rocked me back on my heels. My reaction was so obvious that my friend apologized later for "puncturing my balloon".

Paul Williams never knew me, but I knew him. When he was with Christ In Youth, back in the '70's, he challenged and inspired me. When he left CIY to go plant churches in New York City, I was challenged by his willingness to go to a "hostile" mission field. Over the past 35 years, his writings in Christian Standard and elsewhere helped to encourage the hesitant writer inside me.

Yes, my balloon was punctured. I was poleaxed.

But I've trained myself over the past many years to not be like the bible-thumper I once was, the kind whose default response in such situations is to jump to conclusions and grab up the tar and feathers.

Ironically, this news was delivered to me during a weekend seminar by my friend, David Sowers, entitled Re-establishing Biblical Authority in a Time of Chaos. A major point of the seminar was to warn against allowing our cultural experiences to erode our allegiance to the authority of the Bible.

Many faithful, bible-believing Christians are retreating from their devotion to the authority of the Bible in the face of cultural pressures. They discover a family member or close friend is gay or divorcing and they think they have to choose between their bible and their dear ones.

The church doesn't make the choice any easier by teaching people there is only one choice to make: stand firm in opposition to sin, based on the authority of the Bible, cave in to the culture and abandon your biblical foundation. Some will quickly abandon the Bible and their faith when face with those alternatives. Others will take another look at the scriptures and choose to stand firm.

The Second Choice

What if we taught believers there is more to it, that after choosing to remain committed to the Word, there is a second choice to be made: How shall I deal with the people involved?

I could choose to point my finger at them, treat them poorly, ostracize them, and, in my wife's words, "be mean to them."

Or I can choose to stand firm on the whole Word of God: not just the parts we think of as doctrine, but the equally authoritative teachings above love, grace, compassion, and our evangelistic mission.

Jesus says the greatest commandment is to love God. The second greatest is to love your neighbor as yourself. Every other commandment ranks third at best. Commandments against homosexuality, sexual immorality, or any other culturally controversial behaviors are supposed to be followed within the boundaries of loving our neighbors, even the neighbors that shock us or rock us back on our heels.

It's not 'hate the sin, love the sinner'. That puts the hating above the loving.

Instead, let's love all sinners, and remember we are all sinners.

So many Christian Churches and so many Christians fail to recognize the importance of intentionally making that second choice, the choice for love. As result, many seekers, broken by the road they've traveled, back away from a finger-pointing Bible and a mean Church.

At this point, Williams' blogs indicates a faith strong enough to continue to seek God, in spite of the mean-ness of the Church's response. I pray that resolve continues.

So, after my natural initial reaction of shock, knew I needed to make both the first and second choice.

Opinions and Choices

I decided I needed to know more. Between the conclusion of that Friday evening session and the beginning of the Saturday morning sessions, I read every word of Williams' blog, from its beginning in February, 2014, through to the most recent post in the last week of January, 2015. Every word, including the comments, the Favorite Quotes, and the About Paula Williams page.

By the end of reading through it all, I came to some conclusions.

First, my opinion about Paul Williams' decision to become Paula, in Williams' words, "integrating Paul into Paula", is irrelevant. While I've struggled with my own inner compulsions and sins, I've never walked a mile in Williams' shoes. As a stranger, I'm not in any position to act as a friend, mentor, or advisor. From the blog it's quite clear there are faithful Christians who are in a position to offer Spirit-lead wisdom.

Nowhere in scripture are we told we have to have an opinion on every current event, nor are we commanded to share any opinions we do have. That flies in the face of the current instant-opinion culture of social media, but Twitter and Facebook don't own me yet.

Second, it's vital that I learn everything I can from the writings of a person who has been a faithful Christian leader for decades, all the while (since he was three) struggling mightily with a burden he knew he had to keep secret. Someday I may encounter a seeker who is struggling with a similar burden. Given that my wife and I minister in a women's prison every Monday evening, it's quite likely.

Williams' incredibly honest and detailed chronicling of the relevant issues, scriptures, and psychological research are invaluable. They have taught me both the critical importance of meeting troubled seekers where they are and the importance of seeing them through the eyes of grace. Williams' words also showed me the difficulty of applying the clear biblical truth to the murkiness of gender dysphoria.

Even if you never knew or even heard of Paul Williams, I encourage you to read that year's worth of anguished blog posts and prepare yourself for the need before it lands on your doorstop.

For any Christian who is a learner and not lander, studying the Word and the world carefully in order to develop an informed opinion is vital to showing yourself approved as a workman. Both knowledge and wisdom are needed to properly handle the truth while unashamedly doing the work of God's mission (II Timothy 2:15).

I have little interest in being right about anything. I'd rather seek the righteousness of God in order to faithfully represent Him to any and all seekers I encounter along the way.

And so, I'm not going to tell you my opinions about Paul Williams, or even about Paula Williams. I pray for God to grant Williams the peace only He can provide, as impossible as it may seem.

Praise to Him who specializes in the impossible.