When I read John 13 I ask, What if Judas had repented and been accepted back into the fold of the disciples, but Peter went out and hanged himself?
That would certainly have changed the early history of the Church.
It's not really a fair question, though, because the post-betrayal choices of Judas and Peter grew out of the individual characteristics that lead them each to betray the Lord, which were quite different.
Judas' tipping points are spelled out pretty clearly in the gospel records.
Judas had apparently been harboring selfish motivations for quite some time. As early as John 6:70, Jesus says, "One of you is a devil." We get a picture of Judas' vices in John 12:1-8, where we learn he was a thief, stealing from the funds Jesus and the disciples used to support them.
Luke 22:1-6 says Satan entered into his heart as the Passover approached, spurring him to cut a deal with the religious leaders. John 13:27 says that as Judas dipped his bread with Jesus, Satan entered into him and he left the feast to go prepare for his betrayal.
There's no contradiction here, because Judas has been voluntarily giving into the devil's suggestions for quite some time, until finally Satan takes over his heart, piece by piece, and moves him step by step toward going through with the deed.
The tipping points for Judas were all those times when he gave into the whisperings of Satan and allowed himself to be more concerned about his own desires than about following Jesus.
We can shake our heads and pass judgment on Judas, but we should realize that following Jesus for self-serving reasons is not all that uncommon.
I've watched people who are addicted to alcohol, drugs, or adrenaline turn to Jesus in prison. Sometimes, though, all they've done is latch on to the excitement and addictive thrill of the "Come to Jesus" experience. If their faith never goes any deeper, all they've done is exchange one addiction for another. As soon as they get back out on the streets, whether their old addiction of choice is once again available, they'll slide right back into that old lifestyle.
You don't have to be in prison to be following Jesus for what you can get out of it. One of the causes behind the modern church-hopping trend is the never-ending search for the worship band or preacher that satisfies that self-centered desire for a Sunday morning buzz.
Others follow Jesus for the power trip that comes with being a mover and shaker in the church. Others see church as an essential part of their business or political agenda.
The "health and wealth" prosperity gospel preached in some churches actually encourages self-aggrandizing faith. That approach is what got Victoria Osteen in trouble when she told her congregation that worship is not for God, "you're doing it for yourself."
Most of those things that people seek from their faith experience aren't inherently bad. It's certainly good to enjoy an emotionally charged worship experience. I'd certainly rather sing along with a good worship band and listen to a good preacher than to suffer through a mediocre Sunday service.
The problem comes when, like Judas, your walk of faith becomes more taking than following.
When a self-centered follower doesn't get what he wants, he'll eventually turn his back on the church and on Jesus. If opportunity knocks, betrayal won't be far behind.
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