Psalm 119:19 Stranger for God

I am a stranger on earth; do not hide your commands from me.

Psalm 119:19

Some days I feel more like a stranger on this earth than I do on other days.

The one day of the week I generally don't feel like a complete stranger on earth is Monday. That's the day Karen and I get to go to a women's prison and share worship, teaching, discussion, and counseling with a chapel full of convicted criminals.

Karen gleefully calls it her "happy place," a statement that causes the prisoners to just shake their heads. Some of them roll their eyes.

Oh sure, we hear some stories there that shock us, make us shudder, and even cause us to weep.

But it really is our happy place, and the one place all week where we feel like we fit in.

Don't you dare roll your eyes at me. It's true.

That prison chapel is the one place I can always count on people to not be deluding themselves about how good they are. In that place, we're all sinners, all bowing at the feet of the God of holiness, crying out for mercy. We cling to the commands of God as lifebuoys and boundary markers, rescuing us and protecting us from our worst selves.


Monday evenings in prison help me deal with the almost overwhelming feeling of being a stranger during the rest of the week out in the "free" world.

When I encounter co-workers, friends, and total strangers whose daily lives are filled with chasing after shockingly unwholesome desires, my temptation is to lead with "wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it" (Matthew 7:13).

But, as true as that verse is, my Mondays have taught me to lead with the equally true "there is no one righteous, not even one; there is no one who understands; there is no one who seeks God. All have turned away, they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good, not even one.” (Romans 3:10-12)

That's right. We're all on that same broad road, and we're all in need of mercy. Perhaps the people in my life need me to interact with them as someone who shares our predicament and our common need for grace.

Dear Lord, this world is strange. Help me to see all your commandments, and to not ignore the ones that bring us together as fellow sojourners and seekers.

The Church That Does the Recovery Program: Writer's Notebook

A few of the FCC-Belle Celebrate Recovery peeps

The story behind The Church That Does the Recovery Program, my current article in the October issue of Christian Standard magazine, begins nearly two years ago when I was doing research for a different story for Lookout magazine. My Lookout editor, Kelly Carr, wanted a listicle about rural and/or small churches reaching out to help their communities (Small Churches -- Big Impact, 2/12/17).

I sent out private Facebook messages to several preachers I know from our days together at Central Christian College. I wrote several more blind private messages and e-mails to churches in rural Missouri that I found in the Directory of the Ministry.

 I also reached out to David Fincher, President of Central Christian College, to ask if he knew of any such community outreach programs among CCCB's supporting churches. I've gotten some of my best story ideas from David, and he didn't let me down this time. He sent me a short note in response:

"You should talk to Mitchell Seaton at First Christian Church in Belle, Missouri. They have had a great outreach to many of the hurting people in their community."

So I wrote an e-mail to Seaton and received back an 800-word detailed description of First Christian Church's experience with Celebrate Recovery (CR), a very small part of which was included in that article.

I knew, though, that the time would come when I would tell that story in more detail.

A Sunday morning drive through the hills and hollers of the Ozarks followed. Mitch invited Karen and I to "interview" the members of one of the Sunday School classes. There wasn't much interviewing required, as this crowd of friends, all involved in one way or another in the Celebrate Recovery program, led me through a wild and crazy hour of stories and confessions and tears and laughter.

My editor, Michael Mack, after reading the finished manuscript, told me "Dude, love the quotes. Very compelling and I laughed out loud several times."

There were plenty more quotes that didn't make it into the 1,500 word article.  So here's your chance to hear more from the people at First Christian Church in Belle, MO. You will laugh out loud, you will be challenged, and you might even cry.

Tim Long 3, on what happened after he got arrested in the parking lot of the church after a Sunday morning service:

“I came back the following Sunday to church. I couldn’t take it no more. June 14, 2014, was my first day clean and sober. It was Father’s Day. I went to church because my daughters had asked me. 

I said, I’m done. I was done with it at that point. 12 days later they start the recovery program and I’m in jail again. I had warrants that I was still cleaning up. It took a while to clean the mess up that I had created behind me. . .  I felt God’s hand on me when I was in jail, I said we’ll work this out. I’ll sit here, I’m good. I’ve run out of options. 

The following week I came to the recovery program. I was at the ground level. The second week of the program they handed me a book and said, here, why don’t you do the lesson. I kind of giggled a little bit. “You know who you’re handing this off to?” 

I’m in a position now as ministry leader of CR, and I get to watch what guys like Kevin, Tony, and Mitchell got to watch through me, those aha moments. I get to watch them through guys like Todd and Pete, not just their recovery from drug addiction, but their recovery from life, moving forward, being the men and women god has intended them to be. When you’re going through it yourself, you don’t see it, but people like Kevin can tell me about the progression he sees people go through. 

The church people have been 100% supportive, and they’re not afraid to let you know where you’ve fallen short, or what you need to work on or give you the praises that keep you pushing forward."

Anna Long:

"I told him (Tim 3, her husband), he said he was coming to church, and I said, if you have a warrant, Tony will arrest you. I warned him and he said, I don’t but if I do I’ll deal with it. 

I came in a year before the recovery program started. I came here as a child, and then came back. I came in because I was at a low point in my marriage and everything else and needed to be around people. There was a lot more space in the pews. This Sunday School class at the time, there was like five of us. The stories that people were willing to share helped so much. 

CR has opened things up. We’re a little louder, so it opens it up to talk to everybody. We’re kind of loud and crazy but we love Jesus.

A lot of times people will come to CR first and then everyone tells them, come to our church. It doesn’t matter if you’ve tried church before, try our church. And then a lot of times then, again, Mitchell’s sermons are very relatable and they feel welcome and accepted when they come in the door."

Tim Long 2 (Tim 3's dad):

"Yesterday is 21 months clean and sober. I spent over 40 years out on the dark side, doing my will only. When i was a kid I used to spend my collection money by skipping church and going to the bowling alley. 

First time I came in here I heard Mitchell speak and he was right in my head talking to me. I even asked him, what did they teach you at that college, mind reading? You need to stay outta there! 

I came to CR to see about getting rid of my addiction, and I was in it for a while and then I asked Jesus Christ to take my addiction and he did. It’s now not about the addiction anymore, it’s about the recovery to change my life and living my life the way Christ wants me to live. 

That’s why I’m here. All these people here, the whole church they work with you, they help you, they lead you. The whole church is my accountability partner now. 

When some of us started coming, we asked Mitchell, are you going to be able to keep your job with all these rough people coming in? He said ‘This is a hospital for sinners, not a house for saints.”

Celebrate Recovery members playing with kids at FCC-Belle VBS

Denene Gehlert:

“When I came to CR, I’d been an addict my whole life. It was OK to come. I felt like everybody from all walks of life are being real here. 

It’s OK for me to come in and talk to others. They’ll help you through it and carry it. 

The realness of other people helps because people come in and think that can’t tell their story because their problem is so dark CR has made it OK for people from all walks of life to come in and be accepted. These are good Christian people who will take you as you are and say, we’ll help you with this. We all have problems and everyone can see. 

Tony Baritech:

It’s OK if you’ve got a problem. This is where you should be if you’ve got a problem. Romans 3:23. I’m one of those people. We’re family here. We walk through it all together.

Mitchell Seaton:

The impact and scope of CR:  “It's been an adjustment for sure. And we're still adjusting. But they're still coming, and they're lives are being changed by the power of Christ. This has brought on all kinds of changes to our approach. it's not just addiction. But really any of life's "hurts, habits, and hang-ups" (which is a Celebrate Recovery line). Depression. Anger. Sexual Addiction. Codependency. 

Church discipline: "Though we are patient to allow God's Spirit to convict, we also know we must play a role in that, too."

Clayton Johnson:

"Before I started coming to CR I was an atheist. I didn’t believe in Christ. The only time I went to church was for a wedding or a funeral, and I thought I was going to get struck by lightning for walking through the doors. 

I had multiple people tell me to come to CR and through CR I found Christ, I started coming to church, I’ve been baptized, I’ve been redeemed. 

Becoming one of the leaders for CR, as encouragement leader, has been wonderful. I believe last year we had more CR baptisms than we had baptism out of the regular church program. It’ changing lives. It changed mine. I went from a non-believer to a faithful, grateful believer, and I tell everybody now.".

Sundi JoGraham, on the close-knit community of CR and FCC-Bel:

"A friend said, the other day, I feel like the Sunday School class is the church. The people in this room, we do life together. 

We go to Carrie and Kevin’s to play whiffle ball. I remember going to my first whiffle ball game and seeing all this diverse group of people from all walks of life. You’ve got ex-convicts and ex drug dealers and a cop, you’ve got all these people. We were all playing whiffle ball together and eating hot dogs together. That’s the body of Christ, is doing life together. We have cried in this room together, we’ve been real and raw. It’s been amazing to watch. 

Margie Baretich:

"When I came there was maybe 50 or 60 people. Now we have probably as many children here as we did adults back then. 

The CR program here, I can’t even express the amount of hope that it gives me. 

We have a boy that’s in prison. Watching the transformations that I’ve been to see, gives me hope that’s still possible for my son. 

It has given me a different perspective in my work as well. I’m a paramedic, 28 years, and I go get the same people time after time after time for the same abuses, the same drugs, or for the same beatings from the same person and I have been jaded in the past. Here we go again. 

Now I understand addiction so much better and the life struggles than I did before. Now I have a diff perspective in my work. I can say with all honesty now, when I’m picking up somebody for the 43rd time, there really is hope. I know it’s there. 

Contact CR in your areas and give it a chance, you’ve got everything to gain."

An exchange during the group decision that highlights the unexpected and extraordinary relationships developing at FCC-Belle:

Tim Long 2: We tried to get Tony to come work for us, but he wouldn’t. 

Tony Baretich (police officer): No joke, I was offered a large monthly stipend to look the other way, but no. 

Tim Long 2: And now we got motorcycles and Tony don’t. 

Tim Long 3: I’m very happy that you didn’t take that offer.

Tim Long 2:

Broken Chains is part of CR, a Christian biker program. It brought me in to where I could have a bike again. I got rid of my bike and wasn’t going to get another one because of the lifestyle, but it’s allowed me to do other ministry work. 

That’s one of the things that is really amazing me is doing ministry work. When I was new, Mitchell would talk about ministry work. The other day I was standing around talking to guys about Jesus and a few months before I would have rather hit you than to talk about Jesus. I came on kind of fast. 

It’s crazy, the transformation is totally amazing. The acceptance and guidance they give is great. I’ve never met people like that my whole life.

Kevin Brown:

We came to FCC 5 or 6 years ago. Tony invited Morgan (his daughter) to come. I wasn’t sure how we would be accepted, because I had been divorced, twice. At that point there was 70ish attendance, probably. 

I’m thrilled we started at that point. I believe we were put here at that certain time. I didn’t even know Mitchell, but we hit it off immediately and became really good friends after some earnest conversation. It was good. 

So we were able to see the beginning and to see the wave start to swell. It was phenomenal. 

Everything they’re saying is 100% true. There was hardly nobody in this classroom. 

If you can help one person, and I believe there’s been more than one person that’s been helped, that gives me hope. 

Yes, we have people out for whiffle ball because God has blessed us to have a place where we can do that, and we absolutely love it. It’s not the whiffle ball, it’s the talks after whiffle ball. That’s the cool part. 

I was on vacation and met someone from Redding, CA. They’re from a Christian church out there, and they’re going to start a CR program. I said, that’s fine, but get ready to get your heart to broken. It’s been a huge blessing and it’s been quite the ride.

Margie Baretich:

When our boy was arrested, if that would have happened when I was in that plastic church we used to go to, I would not have had this acceptance, this love, this encouragement. I would have had to hide that, to put on a brave face or go elsewhere. But here, we’re not looked down upon because of what our child did, we’re love and accepted and carried through.

Tony Baretich:

The day before he left to go to prison, 30 some odd people from this church showed up. Mitchell got permission from the county sheriff and everybody got to say their piece and I love you’s and the body of Christ was alive and active. It wasn’t just words, they showed up.

 Tim Long 3:

Everybody’s situation, everything that has happened, is a chaotic mess of just beautiful. 

I couldn’t be where I’m at today without Tony and Marge’s struggles. It brought a whole new light. 

I always frowned upon . . the way I grew up there was only one way to handle that kind of situation, what he did. But what he did is a sin, but it wasn’t any difference than me being a drug dealer, spreading poison on the street. God used that to open my eyes. I’m on the register to go and see him. 

Each person’s struggle is unique, but if you can look at it and put it into perspective of what you’ve done, and the forgiveness you’ve accepted and offered, there’s nothing out of God’s grasp.

Clayton Johnson:

A sin is a sin is a sin. God still loves you, god works with sinners. There’s an acceptance for the many different walks of life that everyone has come from. I’ve buried two daughters, I’ve buried my parents. I’ve lost a whole lot in my life. Whenever I was going through all of that, I stayed so far gone, I didn’t know who I was. I literally did not recognize myself looking in a mirror.

Sundi Jo Graham:

People don’t let you stay stuck where you are. I was going through a bad time a few months ago. I teach people how to have healthy coping mechanisms and how to talk about their problems. But Tony and Mitch showed up to ask what was going on, to tell me I couldn’t lock myself off like that. If you hurt I’m going to hurt with you. If you celebrate I’m going to celebrate with you. 

Tony Baretich:

I love Mitchell so much; I’d bury a body for him. There have been leadership issues, but the one constant is their obedience. Mitchell doesn’t take the easy way out. If I’ve learned one thing, it’s how to have healthy confrontations with people.

If you would like to learn more about the Celebrate Recovery program, go to http://www.celebraterecovery.com/

Psalm 119:18 Seeing Wonderful Things

Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law.  

Psalm 119:18

In my experience, God often uses the people and circumstances I encounter to open my eyes to see wonderful things in His law.

It works the other way around also. My time in His Word opens my eyes to see the wonderful things He is doing in the people and circumstances I encounter.

One without the other produces either nearsighted or farsighted faith.

Nearsighted faith interprets scriptures entirely through the spiritual lens of my own narrowly personal impressions of the Word, isolated from what's going on in the larger world. Bias, legalism, and self-focused faith are the chief symptoms.

Farsighted faith interprets scriptures entirely through the lens of my experiences in the wider world. Relativism, post-modern uncertainty, and and a diminished attitude toward the authority of the Bible are the chief symptoms.


When I began in the prison ministry, my immediate reaction was the same as nearly everyone else I've ever taken inside with me for the first time. The women who came to the prison chapel were clearly "criminals." They were dressed in identical prison clothes. But nearly all of them looked like they could have been someone I might meet in my home church, on campus, or at the grocery store.

Following quickly after the realization that they were all just regular people like me, my eyes were opened to see a wonderful thing in God's Word. If "all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23), then the sins of these prisoners are no worse or better in God's eyes than my own worst sins. Certainly, the State of Missouri has a different opinion, but to God, we are all just people who have fallen short of His glory.

This led to facing a challenging question on Q&A night at the prison:

"I'm a lesbian. It's just who I am, I didn't choose it. Is that a sin?"

Many Christians, once they actually get to know people who are homosexual, begin to view the scripture's teachings on the topic differently. The weight of their experience and relationships out in the wider world begins to apply pressure on their ability to accept what the scriptures appear to be clearly teaching.

My response is to I answer that question with, "Leviticus 20:13 is pretty clear about homosexuality." I then add, "...but you should also notice that chapters 19 & 20 of Leviticus are also quite clearly opposed to adultery and tattoos and several other things."

Trust me, there are a lot more adulterers and tattooed women in that prison chapel than there are homosexuals. Just as there are in the average congregation outside of prison.

The Christian who is slipping into farsightedness begins to slip here, thinking that perhaps homosexuality is no worse than getting a tattoo, and there are plenty of people in churches on Sunday mornings with tattoos these days. They might then tell the young lady who asked the question that it's OK to continue what she's doing.

The Christian who is leaning toward nearsightedness would probably say, "Yes! All of these things are sins! You are a sinner!" At which point this young woman, a prisoner who was seeking God enough to show up to a chapel service, likely shakes her head and decides to stop seeking.

Those are both obviously over-simplifications of the two different ways of integrating scriptures with experience. But there is a third way: to let experience train my spiritual eyes to see beyond a simple YES or NO, in order to discover the heart of God as revealed in His Word for the sake of this seeker.

Yes, I tell them, Leviticus does say all these things are sins. And so is my own gluttony and my laziness.

Then I point them to Romans 1, which also clearly categorizes homosexuality as a sin. Much like Leviticus, Paul includes it among a list of other sins - including being disobedient to parents, which we've all done at some point.

The Romans passage, though, is calling everyone's sin a sin. It's the opening argument in a lengthy discussion of sin that drives its point home in Romans 3:23 with, "all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God," and then finishes that sentence with verse 24: "and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came through Christ Jesus."

This, then, opened my eyes to a better understanding of Paul's teachings in Romans 7 and Galatians 3 about the purpose of the Law.

Thank you, Lord, for using both your scriptures and your work in the prison to open my eyes to see the reason for trusting firmly in what your Law says about sin. The point is not to build a wall between myself and "those sinners", but to paint a clear picture of the stark and beautiful contrast between "all have sinned" and "all are justified freely."

I would never have clearly seen that wonderful truth in His law if I hadn't kept my eyes open to both His revealed Word and to the people and circumstances I encounter while trying to live according to that Word.

Psalm 119:17 Living for God

Twitter is like a window into the soul of millions of people in the world. They tweet things they wouldn't tell anyone in person. People who don't interact with others at all find their outlet online.

That's why I go to Twitter when I want to know what people are thinking about a particular topic.

Today I searched Twitter for the phrase "reason for living"

finally found the reason for living

— mibil (@mybllnble) September 11, 2017

mibil doesn't actually go on to say what her reason for living is. She just wanted to let the world know she found it. For most thinking people, it's a big deal to discover your reson for living.

The vast majority of tweets were like this next one. It's not a big surprise that a majority of people find their reason for living in their relationships.

Joe @joejonas my love, I can't live without you. You are my only reason for living. There is no greater love than what I feel for you....

— Lisa (@wonderfuldream) September 10, 2017

But what happens when the relationship ends? A frequently tweeted quote has the answer to that:

What is called a reason for living is also an excellent reason for dying. - Albert Camus

— Book lovers (@book_lvrs) September 10, 2017

There are others on Twitter who, seriously or not, find their reason for living in trivial things:

My reason for living is mail. And ruling the world but really it's mail. I loooooooove mail. If you want to make me happy/get me something

— Angel K (@AvidReaderBlog) September 9, 2017

Only reason for living is cats

— Wel ☃ (@WheeeeeeeelYum) September 7, 2017

And then there are the philosophical tweets:

" As long as I have a want, I have a reason for living. Satisfaction is death. "

— Sharonda Lee (@sharondalee2127) September 7, 2017

life is life there is not reason for living.

— donnie conyers (@DonnieConyers) September 11, 2017

The following series of tweets struck me, as J. Bocanegra contemplates the reason for living:

and if i can't believe myself, why bother to continue searching for meaning when the "myself" through which i perceive is unreliable?

— J. Bocanegra (@ncallowed) September 7, 2017

living is really nothing more than arrogance against meaninglessness. give AI complete freedom, and its first action will be to shut down

— J. Bocanegra (@ncallowed) September 7, 2017

we like to pretend it's curiosity or love or achievement that keeps us going, but the only thing controlling us is the primal fear of death

— J. Bocanegra (@ncallowed) September 7, 2017

and here i am, full circle, finding my reason for living again: i care about stories. thank god i can write.

— J. Bocanegra (@ncallowed) September 7, 2017

I certainly understand his conclusion. Writing is one of the primary things that gets me excited about life. I do indeed thank God I can write.

But writing cannot be my reason for living.

David was never on Twitter (although both he and Solomon would have rocked Twitter), but he did share his thoughts on the reason for living.

Be good to your servant so that I might live, that I may obey your word.


Psalm 119:17  

The first half of the verse is a prayer that is common to all people who have faith in God. It's similar to "give us this day our daily bread" in Jesus' model prayer. It expresses our most basic desire, that God will give us the good things we need in life. Indeed, as David puts it, the good things we need in order to live.

It's easy to get sidetracked in our prayers, asking God for all kinds of things that will bless us beyond mere sustenance of life. We want good weather. We want the car to keep going for another year. We want our kids to be happy. We want more mail or more cats.

But at the root of faith is reliance upon God's goodness to sustain life itself.

And, according to David in this verse, at the root of God's continued blessing of life itself is God's purpose for our continued life on earth.

That I may obey your word.

Try that on for size.

God does indeed bless us with loved ones who make our lives fuller and vocations that give us joy and with cats and mail and other simple pleasures.

But among all the blessings, the greatest thing He gives us is the opportunity to obey His Word. Not the obligation to obey His Word or the necessity of obeying His Word, but the opportunity.

Living a life focused on living according to His character, as reflected in His Word, is the best reason for living. And for dying.

Psalm 119:17-24 Being Me, For You

The day after the total eclipse in August 2017, everyone was talking about the experience. They talked about the corona, the darkness, the temperature change. But the one thing that surprised nearly everyone the most was the insects.

As darkness fell, the crickets and cicadas and other bugs did what bugs do at dusk: they chirped and squeaked and clicked and sang..

And people did what people do in such a situation.

They tried to make money off it, selling eclipse t-shirts, eclipse party and picnic paraphernalia, eclipse glasses (some of them cheap and dangerous rip-offs).

Others tried to control the eclipse and the way people experienced it. I'm still trying to understand why my local city organizations thought it made sense that everyone would think it necessary to battle traffic in order to congregate at a local park to watch an event that was visible just by looking up from wherever you were.

Other people panicked, just like people panicked millennia ago when an eclipse was an unexpected and unexplained phenomenon. Except 21st century people panicked because they thought the crowd thronging to the area of totality would overwhelm the public infrastructure and cause the collapse of government and civilization as we know it.

As for me, I did the sort of thing that is typical for me. I tried to turn the experience into a reproduction of something I had read, to replicate the experience of someone else.

Years ago I read Annie Dillard's essay, Total Eclipse. Because of that story, I knew I wanted to be somewhere that was wide open, so I could see everything that happened as the moment of totality approached.

The experience failed to be exactly like Dillard's, which should have been no surprise to me.

What I should have done was to be me. To do what I would do in such a situation.

I should have just sat in the front  yard with my wife and watched the eclipse. We live in a neighborhood nestled among a heavily wooded area. I wish now that I had been there to hear our own insects sing, to see if the owl that hangs out somewhere near our house would wake up and join the chorus.

I should have integrated the eclipse experience into the life I live for God every day.

I live in this world for God, not for myself. Not to fit in with the flow of culture, not to pronounce my opinions about the way the world conducts itself, not to try to fit my experience into that of anyone else.

I'm like the crickets, who were created to be crickets. A cricket praises God most when it does what God designed it to do.

Annie Dillard has another essay that says much the same about weasels and eagles.

I think it would be well, and proper, and obedient, and pure, to grasp your one necessity and not let it go, to dangle from it limp wherever it takes you. Then even death, where you're going no matter how you live, cannot you part. Seize it and let it seize you up aloft even, till your eyes burn out and drop; let your musky flesh fall off in shreds, and let your very bones unhinge and scatter, loosened over fields, over fields and woods, lightly, thoughtless, from any height at all, from as high as eagles.

Living Like Weasels, Annie Dillard

Annie Dillard spent her eclipse day doing just that. She experienced the wonders of God's creation with her whole being. And then she did what a writer does.  She wrote about it. It took her nearly two years to get it onto paper and publish those thoughts. That's what writers do.

God created me for a purpose, to grasp my one necessity and not let it go, to dangle from it, limp, wherever it takes me. 

I declare the glory of God; I am his handiwork. Day after day I pour forth words that will either glorify or horrify my God; night after night He gives me opportunities to share with others the knowledge he has given me. 

ג Gimel
 17 Be good to your servant while I live,
that I may obey your word.
18 Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law.
19 I am a stranger on earth;do not hide your commands from me.
20 My soul is consumed with longing
for your laws at all times.
21 You rebuke the arrogant, who are accursed,
those who stray from your commands.
22 Remove from me their scorn and contempt,
for I keep your statutes.
23 Though rulers sit together and slander me,
your servant will meditate on your decrees.
24 Your statutes are my delight;
they are my counselors.

Psalm 119:17-24

Psalm 119:16 Pure Devotion

At the age of 82, my father died, and my mother, bound to a wheelchair, was left on her own.

Plenty of people had ideas about how I should take care of my mother. Send her off to a nursing home, move her in with my wife and I, and so on.

Instead, I ignored all those people and left Mom to live on her own in her mobile home. Some whispered that I was neglecting her.

This lasted about a year and a half, until her health took a turn for the worse and she wound up in the hospital and then a nursing home.

During that time I heard more grumblings that I was neglecting my mother. I didn't visit often enough. I didn't give her everything she wanted.

Most of those people who thought of me as neglectful had no idea what I was or wasn't doing, and certainly not what I was thinking. Few asked me why I made the choices I did.

If they had, I would have told them that every choice I made was for her well-being, even when she didn't agree with me. The fact that she died within weeks of entering the nursing home was vindication to me that I'd made the right choice to put that off as long as possible. (I've written more about the decisions my mother and I made during that time HERE.)

Neglect, to my understanding, is to abandon focusing on the person or object and leave them unattended, un-cared for. Sometimes all the proper focus in the world can still end up looking like neglect, simply because things go wrong.

I delight in your decrees; I will not neglect your word. 
Psalm 119:16

Pure devotion doesn't always mean perfection. We are fallible people, living in a fallen world.

Pure devotion means maintaining a pure focus on not only the words of the Word, but on the overarching purpose and mission God reveals to us.

I used to think godly purity meant that I'm pure (and so are my people), while those other people aren't pure. Purity was a way of defining ourselves as the ones who aren't like the impure people of the world.

There is some truth to this. We're told to be careful to remain unstained by the world. We're supposed to set ourselves apart as a holy nation.

But that "setting apart" is not only for the purpose of personal purity, but to set ourselves apart as the people who will pursue the purposes of God. And the pure mission of God is to reach out to the people of the world, the ones who don't know God's sanctifying and purifying blessings.

When I was younger, neglecting the Word meant someone refused to live according to the pure morals and doctrines as we interpreted them from the scriptures.

I see now that neglecting the Word is when we neglect God's mission as described in the Word.

Pure devotion sometimes might look to others like we're neglecting certain parts of morality or "right thinking" as we're trying to become all things to all people.

Focus on the one road God has laid out before us, not on all the people who are trying to tell us where we should be making our stand.

Psalm 119:15 Pure Training

I picked up a guitar at the age of 15 because I was frustrated.

I only ever took one formal guitar lesson.

I taught guitar lessons for a few months at a music store in Moberly, Missouri. The one requirement the store manager set down was that I had to use the lessons books that they sold, thus forcing my students to buy from them. The books were terrible, I hated teaching lessons that way, and I've never taught regular guitar lessons since.

When my foster son Cooter was a young teen, he wanted to learn to play guitar like the country music stars he listened to. I sat with him for about an hour one afternoon and taught him about the chord chart, about how to play in the proper rhythm, and a handful of other basic things. And then I left him to find his own way, occasionally answering a question now and then. Because that's how I learned.

And, of course, today he's a better guitar player than I am.

The actual true truth, though, is that I've had countless guitar lessons over the years since I first picked up that cheap K-Mart guitar.

I learned rapid chord changes from Jim Croce, or at least from listening to his greatest hits album over and over again, with a dog-eared chord book of all his songs in front of me.

I learned how to play along with other guitar players from David and Jane Schwartz, college students who were part of an eclectic small group my family stumbled into when I was in high school. I've since lost the ability to play well with others, due to decades of solo playing and fine tuning my unique style of haphazard strumming.

I learned a bio-mechanical trick to reset my inner metronome in mid-song from Steve Henness, in my fourth decade of rhythmically challenged guitar playing.

And from Cooter I rediscovered the sheer joy of playing guitar and helping people worship God. I rediscover that joy every time I look at his face up on the stage at Rocky Fork Fellowship.


Some Christians seem to think they can take formal training to learn a catechism or a system of theology and they'll know how to be a good Christian. But, just like learning to play guitar, formal training can only go so far.

Formal study produces people educated in the religion they've studied. Knowing God requires something entirely different.

I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways. 

Psalm 119:15

The psalmist says he not only meditated on God's precepts, but did so for the purpose of considering God's ways. Considering God's ways requires a lifetime of pure focus on the God who has been practicing His ways for eternity.

Consider the way God thinks. How does His mind work? Is He focused or frivolous? Is He reliable or reckless?

Consider the way He makes decisions. Is He driven by the feelings of the moment or by the strength of His character and convictions? What directions does He choose and which options does he decline?

What does God love? What does He hate?

One of the reason God sent His Son to walk this earth as a man was so we could consider the ways of God as lived out in a human lifetime. God’s ways are Jesus’ ways.

That's why there are four books telling the story of his life, so we can pick up the nuances to His ways as we consider them. The gospel writers act as four teachers, showing us the ways of Jesus from their individual perspectives.

From Matthew, I've learned that God's way is to take the long view rather than the short-sighted way of most of the people I know. Matthew presents Jesus' mission as the culmination of plans that were worked out for several thousand years. The Jesus I see in the first gospel is knee deep in history, carrying the weight of God's covenants upon His shoulders.

From Mark, I've learned that God's way is that of a skilled storyteller. Jesus spends 90% of His life on earth in almost complete obscurity. Even when He begins his active three year ministry, we see Him continually telling His disciples and the people He heals to not go running around telling everyone about Him. He knows the value of not rushing the climax of the story, because He has much He wants to accomplish before the final, sacrificial event. All of this is because His way is to stay focused on His purpose.

From Luke, I've learned to see God's empathy for the downtrodden, the suffering, the oppressed. Luke shows us the Jesus who publicly lays claim to the prophecy about Messiah early on in His home town, but does so by quoting the one Messianic prophecy that most closely describes His mission as focusing on the poor, the prisoners, the blind, and the poor. God's way is to defy expectations. Instead of strutting around like a king who deserves all the kingly perks and adulation, He eagerly becomes messily involved in the messy lives of messy people.

From John, I learned that God's way is to pull off the amazing trick of being both the King of Kings as well as a loyal friend and servant. Jesus repeatedly describes Himself as "I AM" during His teachings and His debates with the Jewish leaders, laying claim to the highest title possible as the King of Kings. And yet John also shows Jesus willing to sit by a well to carry on a conversation with a Samaritan woman. We see Jesus "eager" to share the family-centric Passover meal with His closest friends and followers, while also taking on the role of foot-washing servant for those same people.

Knowing God requires considering His ways more than simply studying doctrines. Study to know Him.