Tweeter Than Honey

I spent about 15 minutes today reading tweets that included the word "Bible". Along with a large number of Bible quotes, a fascinating and disturbing group of other references to "Bible" presented themselves, all from random people I've never met and likely will never meet.

I present the results of my "bible" study, which offers a window into the way the world sees the Bible.

Like much of twitter, there was plenty of tossed-off snark:

A bag of pizza rolls is to me what the bible is to others.
— ciara colleen♥ (@ciarasacutie_17) November 16, 2013

God put a woman in the bible and she ruined the whole book in the first chapter
— ᶠᶸᶜᵏᶤᶰ ˢʷᵃᵍ ᵝᵒˢˢ (@Junbugstone) November 16, 2013

This one was sort of hopeful:

Man oh man, just had a real good bible study with my father and brothers. It's crazy what you learn when you read in between the lines.
— China Animashaun (@Chinaa_town) November 16, 2013

Reading "between the lines" of the Bible is just another way of describing what I hope they were really doing, which is reading deeply, going behind the words to the historical context, reading elsewhere int he Bible to other verses tat expanded on the truths told there, and even using god-given imagination to bring the scriptures to life in their world.

Or not. Reading her previous tweets isn't encouraging.

There are also some tweets from the "new atheists", with old complaints about the Bible.

The Holy Bible. Underpinning jingoistic patriotism and division of people for nearly 2000 years. #Atheism #Bible
— RosaRubicondior (@RosaReerected) November 16, 2013

And the obligatory political tweets:

@Illbay @yesnicksearcy @SooperMexican I particularly enjoyed the Rev Al calling it racist. I asked if his Bible was Cliff Notes version.
— Dan Humphreys (@NerdKing52) November 16, 2013

And the expected misquotes:

Wow the bible was actually right about when it said that good things come to those who wait
— #StopHeather2013 (@WhyAmIADumbass) November 16, 2013

And the just "wow" sort of tweets:

he's giving me a bible lesson on how goats are inherently evil and that makes my makeup brushes evil because they're made from goat hair
— fluffy junhong (@junhonkle) November 16, 2013

the bible says a lot of stuff ok and different books of the bible contradict the others so how about we live by faith
— fluffy junhong (@junhonkle) November 16, 2013

This tweetus interuptus doesn't really need to be completed to make me shake my head:

Something just happened. I was asking God whether a certain person and I are meant for each other and I was flicking through my bible at
— Suzy T (@SuzannaTwist) November 16, 2013

And my favorite:

Best book of bible = genelation #lifeops
— Suspence (@SpencerGrow) November 16, 2013